• Dec 05, 2013

“To me, you are

A fragile flower of love

With happy little blossoms

Of love and delight and sparkly unicorns

And I want to wish you a lovely birthday

With all my heart and love and wonder.

And rainbows.”

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People: if you are looking for greeting cards made of sparkly unicorn hearts of fragile flower blossoms, please look elsewhere.

It’s not that the Robert Mason Company doesn’t love a good old-fashioned cheesy greeting card every once in a while. Sometimes these cards are just what our friends and our families and our Great-Great-Aunt Ednas want from us.

But for the people in your life who really get your sense of humor—for the person who might appreciate something a little less corny-poetic and a little more fall-on-the-floor hilarious—RM carries a whole line of wildly inappropriate and wonderful greeting cards.

Want to say “hey, you’re swell!” to your favorite font-loving, word-smithing guy or gal? We’ve got just the card for it.

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Searching for the perfect, expletive-ridden way to say “congrats on your pregnancy” for that friend who’s gonna puke (for real) if she hears another person refer to her “bun in the oven” or her “bundle of joy”? We’ve got a card for that too.

Looking for a card that will spark your 90s nostalgia by referencing everything—and we mean everything—that Bill Clinton made famous during his presidency? My friends, we’ve got a card for that too. (Except we can’t picture it here. You need to visit the store for that one.)

Believe it or not, we have dozens more inappropriate greeting cards in the store too. So stop by for a visit and find the perfect card for that perfect friend or family member who shares that delightfully inappropriate sense of humor with you. (And with us, for that matter.)

And remember: JUST SAY NO to the sparkly unicorn hearts of love.